Answers put together by Jules Hornby and Agnieszka Arcisz
In these uncertain times, it really pays off to be in the Classics Department. After months of prayer and preparations, we were not able to get through to Apollo, yet managed to catch Phythia. Here is what she said to our lovely Freshers. We tried to make it logical and then we gave up. Enjoy.
You came to my rich temple, Fresher, but I fear to pronounce your name, because mispronunciation is really embarrassing.
Δ
You shall not procrastinate in the Maughan this year (so much) but fear not, you will find your own way to work without getting any work done. You and your essays will meet in battle anyways.
Δ
You might not cry while looking for a book in the building, but you shall cry trying to find it online. Once you get it, you will cry again. Only then will your research start.
Δ
Love for Pret and nothing else will ruin you.
Δ
Via Decumana closed in both directions due to essential maintenance, late October to December.
Δ
Beware of Boudica. She is an enemy to all Latin speakers and is aware of your presence there by the Fleet ditch. Currently she is at King’s Cross. Platform 10.
Δ
You shall discover that walks indeed have magical power and you should not stay at home all day. I know, I can hardly believe it myself.
Δ
The British Museum will be always a treat. You will begin recognising objects you studied, only to discover you don’t remember what they are. Pray to the Winds then, they are allies of Spartans and Freshers.
Δ
Your reading list is wise, Google is wise, but of all men JSTOR is wisest.
Δ
Sure though thy columns, proud University College, have a care
A waxen-faced philosopher’s reign may yet see thee trip, Beware
Contest long looked for shall vex thy steps,
And another year’s Varsity its tide of carnage pour.
Δ
With Latin and Greek dictionaries, you will conquer the world. You are invincible my children.
Δ
Make your own translations. Make your own nature, not the advice of others, your guide in life.
Δ
Deadlines should concern you, for as long as you exist, deadlines are here. Nobody lives the life he chooses to live.
Δ
As a student you should behave like a student. Go on then, organise your own bacchanalia.
Δ
Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises, so start your essay readings a bit earlier than a week before deadline.
Δ
It rains into the Thames and still the Thames is old.
Δ
You ask me for a logical advice? You ask too much. I grant it not.
Yours truly,
Phythia